Baby talk

I'm very satisfied with my daughter! She is incredibly smart, independent, and a very happy child. Seriously, she amazes me every day. She was playing with a toy that said "ok let's count to ten"...then she did! I was like WTH???? I mean she just learns things! I prob sound like a freak counting everything or singing the ABC's over and over along w/ her other favorites, but soooo worth it when she picks it up! It's the most amazing part of being a mom! Literally watching her learn and react to the world around her. I think I have said that before, but I am a proud momma!

Now that is kind of the problem! I am so content with the her...I have no desire to have any more. So much so, I have tried to convince my Hub to get a vasectomy! His response was "I'm not 100% on having another child either. I just don't want to finalize anything." To me this sounded like...don't worry you will get baby fever some day! Ummm wrong, I'm good big guy! But am I???

My cons:
-I will probably have to stop working. Which will ultimately lead to some sort of mental shut down. I love working! It gets me out of the house...I feel like a grown up for a few hours...and I make some $ for myself!
-I had terrible postpartum depression. I didn't feel right for over a year. The first 6 months were awful! I just felt like I was going through the motions.
-Am I ready to give up another 2years of freedom? I year of trying/pregnancy...and second year of nursing!
-I do not want another girl...although if I had one I wouldn't send it back or anything! I'm sure she would be perfect in every way and I would adore her. I'm just scared another girl would interfere in my relationship with R. I want to be close with my kid...I was not close with my Mother! I'm so the type of person who has a favorite! You know how moms say oh I love all my kids the same!?!? Bullshit! All the siblings always know the favorite! If I had a boy it would be different. Two girls would send me into "don't fuck your kids up overload."
-I don't want to gain a million pounds again!

My pros:
-All only children are spoiled assholes! I'm not raising an asshole!
-My Hub wants more children. I want my Hub to be happy!
-I would get to nurse again. I loved it! Even though it was a sacrifice...and I felt relief when it was over. You can't compare that kind of connection to anything else.
-I know it would be cute. Who doesn't need more cute people in the world.
-I truly value my relationships with my siblings...I want R to have that in her life!
-When I'm around my friends daughter I want more! I blame them for having such a sweet cute little girl! Even though the girls are essentially the same age...I think, hmmm this is awesome! Not terrible at all! This would be awesome...just one would be smaller and cry more!
-I won't have to have anymore if we have another. People keep asking and I keep avoiding the question! After two I will be certain I'm finished...right?

Ugh 2? I would be outnumbered at least 45 hours a week! Haha! I can't! To be continued... I guess I will give it another year. My Hub and I can decide then!