Two things I miss from my former life! Drinking with out guilt and shit to do the next day, and my Scar!
I wish there was a most satisfying way to describe my most epic friendship, but there is not! I suppose I should explain.
I met Scar when I was 18.. I worked for her then boyfriend. Truth be told I was ridiculously intimidated by her at first. She is so pretty...blonde and drove a Volkswagen beetle! I had always wanted one! I remember very vividly the moment I knew she was "cool" we were in the Kmart parking lot...lord knows why? She put on the song " in your face" by ebony eyez! I was like yep I really really like her! We hung out a lot that summer. You know very casual...getting tattoos and trying to drink! We weren't 21 yet obviously!
I moved away with Hub. He was going to college about an hour and a half away. We slowly stopped talking. My fault not hers. I really suck at staying in touch with people. I'm a lot better now!
We did talk a few times in between, but we really picked back up when Hub and I broke up. I got reconnected with her through a mutual HD friend and that was it! We were thick as thieves all over again. She got me a job at the Harley Davidson store.
So basically our lives consisted of working together then hanging out every weekend! It was awesome! We were known as the "Harley Girls". Yes, we loved that too! We made too many memories to account for, and too inappropriate to write here :)!
I left after the summer, and went back to Hub. It was the most awful good bye I have ever had to do. My niece was with me, and even commented "I hope I love a friend that much some day"! I cried harder.
When I left Hub again My Scar and I moved in together. We got an apartment we called the palace...and it was awesome! She had also broke up with her longtime boyfriend. She had a new man...I didn't! :(
We basically did all the fucked up stuff two young girls do...or say they wish they did! Looking back I think we almost had something to prove! We were going to be young forever! We thought! Literally I am scared for our lives thinking back! We were wild! And it was awesome! We were Famous in a small town!
Why she is my Scar is harder to explain. We had a retardedly outrageous misunderstanding! We like to pretend it never happened twice! I cringe just thinking about it! I tried to erase her... Tried! It just didn't work! I swear loosing a best friend is worse than loosing an X! At least with an X you can agree that you just don't belong together or some one cheated or the relationship is going no where. Loosing your best friend is like loosing the part of you only she knows!
Every fucking song reminded me if some crazy drunken night... "We are going streaking!", "No Wanda don't shit in the trash can", you girls wanna come on over and let the good times roll...umm NO" lolol! I couldn't watch the MTV movie awards for two years! I stopped loving Kathy Griffin... And God help us if I saw an FJ! It was pretty ridiculous!
We talk now...it is a lot easier! We saw each other last month! So awkward lol! I was so excited! Have you ever been so excited and try to pretend its just another day no big deal! HA! I was like a teenager going to a party for the first time! I'm pretty sure I ruined our night out by asking my Hub to pick me up. I was way to drunk and shouldn't drive. I swear the minute he walked in the spell was broken! We remembered we were grown ups! Not those fun woo girls anymore! Poof it was gone!
Either way I'm glad I have her back in my life in whatever form I can get. No we probably aren't the best friends we used to be...but she will always get me and never judge me! And I bet if we tried really hard we could have our mental texting conversations.
I just love her...
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Bicker bicker
Happy Saturday! I go into this weekend reeling from yet another tif with my Hub. Last week we essentially had the same fight just different subject.
Basically I want to control everything and Hub wants to act like he is 24 and no one to answer to. No, he doesn't want to cheat or be gross. He just wants to trot off to work...not a care in the world...come home, say what's for dinner, stare at his computer screen, and tell me how "important" his work is...go to the gym as he pleases, and play softball on whichever nights suit him regardless of my schedule.
He says I want to put a tracking device up his butt and dictate his every move.
Neither examples are accurate, but you get the idea! I don't really mind him being in his own head during the week. I like to read and watch my shows anyway. My biggest issue is our little darling. She absolutely adores him...adores! He chooses a different parenting approach than I! I can't stand when I feel like he is not paying attention to her or giving her his time. I probably pay too much attention!
Ugh! This weeks fight! We stager our gym times and work shifts so angel baby is away from us the least amount of time. PS I only work 3.5 days a week! He only has to pick her up Tues and Thursday from Daycare. Thursday roles around and I decide to cut out a little early and the catch kettle bell class. I walk in and little miss judgey pants and her very genuinely nice husband are standing there holding their two kids. I'm like heyyyyy insert fake smile...I didn't know you guys belonged here??? Umm yes I did. I have just been pretending the last two times I saw the wife, that I didn't see her. Miss judgey pants is maybe 22 now...basically married her HS sweetie Genuinely nice guy (who works w/ Hub) she instantly got pregnant! Was st. Patricks day green w/ her kids. Meaning breast fed, organic evarythinnggg!, stayed home, baby sign language, co-sleeping, carried them everywhere, and judged everyone who didn't do it the very same way! Then she had the second one! Oh ya barely looked pregnant the whole time...lost baby weight instantly! Then acted like she was still chubby! Yeah basically kill yourself judgey pants!
So she says oh hey how are you! Genuinely nice guy says where's angel baby. I say oh yep I know the answer to that...yep "she is in the gym play room". (where Hub brings her every Thursday while he plays raquette ball after picking her up from daycare) I walk into the play room...and uh oh where is my kid??? Miss judgey pants says nothing. She probably knew I would loose it. I'm obviously mortified...what kind of mother doesn't know where her toddler is??? I calmly walk down to Hub. "where is the baby," I say? "oh at Daycare", he says! I calmly walk away after giving him a "you are so fucked and not in a fun way, when you get home" look!
I leave, miss my class, and go get the baby. When Hub gets home he's like you could have told me you were getting her. I say "oh ya jack ass, you should have gotten her before the gym and brought her with you"! He says "you never would have known if you would had been at work". Now let's pause right there. That's the phrase I'm stuck on! "I never would have known!!!" WTF!!!! That's the problem. I should be informed no matter what! Plus she would have gotten to have her Daddy pick her up...she would have had the snack that I pack for her every Thurs...and she would have gotten the one on one time in the car to and from the gym. He doesn't understand this. Oh and i wouldn't be the subject of judgey pants' play group next week! Hub says she fine and proceeds to tell me that I try to control everything. We were at a stale mate. He slept on the couch...still find it funny he thinks that's a punishment! Haha 200 less pounds of mass in a queen size bed! I slept wonderfully! Now if he would leave the house completely...that's a punishment! I would have robbery and arson dreams, and not sleep a wink!
I text him the next day...hope we can talk tonight. I don't like fighting. He texts back something about having to "take a stand" aka sleeping on the couch lololol to show me he was mr. Man and wouldn't b run by woman folk! Whatever!!!!!!
I call him on the way to work to make sure he still loves me and just like that fight is over! We didn't solve a thing, and Hubs back hurts from the couch!
I wonder if I could train him to "take a stand" by having sex with me then going to sleep on the couch! Yes, that would really teach me ;)
Basically I want to control everything and Hub wants to act like he is 24 and no one to answer to. No, he doesn't want to cheat or be gross. He just wants to trot off to work...not a care in the world...come home, say what's for dinner, stare at his computer screen, and tell me how "important" his work is...go to the gym as he pleases, and play softball on whichever nights suit him regardless of my schedule.
He says I want to put a tracking device up his butt and dictate his every move.
Neither examples are accurate, but you get the idea! I don't really mind him being in his own head during the week. I like to read and watch my shows anyway. My biggest issue is our little darling. She absolutely adores him...adores! He chooses a different parenting approach than I! I can't stand when I feel like he is not paying attention to her or giving her his time. I probably pay too much attention!
Ugh! This weeks fight! We stager our gym times and work shifts so angel baby is away from us the least amount of time. PS I only work 3.5 days a week! He only has to pick her up Tues and Thursday from Daycare. Thursday roles around and I decide to cut out a little early and the catch kettle bell class. I walk in and little miss judgey pants and her very genuinely nice husband are standing there holding their two kids. I'm like heyyyyy insert fake smile...I didn't know you guys belonged here??? Umm yes I did. I have just been pretending the last two times I saw the wife, that I didn't see her. Miss judgey pants is maybe 22 now...basically married her HS sweetie Genuinely nice guy (who works w/ Hub) she instantly got pregnant! Was st. Patricks day green w/ her kids. Meaning breast fed, organic evarythinnggg!, stayed home, baby sign language, co-sleeping, carried them everywhere, and judged everyone who didn't do it the very same way! Then she had the second one! Oh ya barely looked pregnant the whole time...lost baby weight instantly! Then acted like she was still chubby! Yeah basically kill yourself judgey pants!
So she says oh hey how are you! Genuinely nice guy says where's angel baby. I say oh yep I know the answer to that...yep "she is in the gym play room". (where Hub brings her every Thursday while he plays raquette ball after picking her up from daycare) I walk into the play room...and uh oh where is my kid??? Miss judgey pants says nothing. She probably knew I would loose it. I'm obviously mortified...what kind of mother doesn't know where her toddler is??? I calmly walk down to Hub. "where is the baby," I say? "oh at Daycare", he says! I calmly walk away after giving him a "you are so fucked and not in a fun way, when you get home" look!
I leave, miss my class, and go get the baby. When Hub gets home he's like you could have told me you were getting her. I say "oh ya jack ass, you should have gotten her before the gym and brought her with you"! He says "you never would have known if you would had been at work". Now let's pause right there. That's the phrase I'm stuck on! "I never would have known!!!" WTF!!!! That's the problem. I should be informed no matter what! Plus she would have gotten to have her Daddy pick her up...she would have had the snack that I pack for her every Thurs...and she would have gotten the one on one time in the car to and from the gym. He doesn't understand this. Oh and i wouldn't be the subject of judgey pants' play group next week! Hub says she fine and proceeds to tell me that I try to control everything. We were at a stale mate. He slept on the couch...still find it funny he thinks that's a punishment! Haha 200 less pounds of mass in a queen size bed! I slept wonderfully! Now if he would leave the house completely...that's a punishment! I would have robbery and arson dreams, and not sleep a wink!
I text him the next day...hope we can talk tonight. I don't like fighting. He texts back something about having to "take a stand" aka sleeping on the couch lololol to show me he was mr. Man and wouldn't b run by woman folk! Whatever!!!!!!
I call him on the way to work to make sure he still loves me and just like that fight is over! We didn't solve a thing, and Hubs back hurts from the couch!
I wonder if I could train him to "take a stand" by having sex with me then going to sleep on the couch! Yes, that would really teach me ;)
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