I know that most people have a mild form of anxiety. Some people have extreme...or somewhere in the middle anxiety!
Today I feel like the middle making it's way to extreme. Today it's so much worse than normal because I can't really pin point why or where its coming from. I feel like I'm just on the verge of freaking out! Lord I have issues!
My stressor lately:
I have been wondering if all Moms instantly feel this really close bond with there child?!?! I go in and out of super closeness to hmm does she even like me? It freaks me the fuck out! As I have stated before I don't want to screw her up or make her weird. So, I try to reign in my co-dependent nature and allow her to set her boundaries. Meaning...if she doesn't want to hug, kiss, cuddle, hold hands while in the car, or sit next to me while we watch V-V (TV) - then I do not force her. Sometimes it sucks so bad I just want to scream "what the heck kid?; try and get your own milk out of the fridge and heat up your own vreen vreens (green beans)! Of course I never say this out loud. I internalize and whine to my hub!
Then out of nowhere like all that Mommy you don't matter to me stuff ever happened...she is obsessed! Up my ass can't leave the room, have to hold hands in the car, kisses and hugs all day, and help cleaning up! Like my little lovable side kick out of nowhere!
Maybe that's just how kids are...I know I just need to relax! But this is definitely something I wasn't told before I was a Mom. It's not really something most people talk about I guess. I thought I was basically giving birth to "love"! As if she was put here to love love love me all the days then hate me when she's a teenager and then love love love me again! I'm prepared for the teenager thing...but seriously she is 19months old!!!
I need to call my mom!
On the opposite side of the spectrum I suppose I have days like her also...days when I just wish her nap would be a little bit longer. I sometimes drag my feet on the nights my hub is picking her up from daycare. ...squeezing every second of alone time I have!
Maybe my sweet angel and I are so similar I have failed to see it! After re-reading this post I think...your baby is just like you dumbass! She likes her space sometimes too!
Ok ok I will heat up your vreen vreens and get your milk when u don't want to sit next to me during Melmo and Big big (big bird) time!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
strange company
My Hub and I did spend some time apart. This I have alluded to several times in my blog so far. Some day I think I will go through the ins and outs of that. For right now I will just give you the run down so you can understand my strange company.
The Hub and I were officially broken up for a year and 4 months. It was aweful!!! I literally had to fight the urge to run crying back to him daily. And no it never got easier....never! It actually got harder! I left him. Everyone always asks that...not sure why it matters, but either way you are informed. I wanted to spend some time on my own two feet. I moved out of my parents house into his house and followed him to college then new state as he was progressing through his education and career. My life during this time was almost at a stand still. My own decision...not his. We were engaged when I left him...making it even worse to deam him my X Fiance!!! Seriously, I would have rather been divorced.
I did not just leave to be on my own...but that was the biggest part. We both had several things we needed to handle before we commited to either eachother or anyone else for that matter. We had been together for 5 years by then. I began dating him when I was 18...2months from my 19th birhtday! He was older...26.
I went back home got a job and lived with my sister. I felt rediculously sorry for myself for a long long long time. I went back to him a few months later and then left after a month...breaking his heart agian. Please let me tell you...we never stoped talking. He and I talked/texted/emailed the entire time. Even if we were dating someone else. Which yes we even talked about to eachother...weird!
Fast forward to being apart for over a year and the Hub meets someone. He really liked her and I think I may have lost my mind during this time. He came to visit me and said he was trying to decide if he wanted to be with this new person we will call her Sandra D lol or me. I was beyond ready to begin our life together at this point....PS I asked to get back together before he was seeing Sandra D. He just wasn't ready to trust that I was commited yet...or wanted me to suffer like I had made him suffer...who knows! Ps I came back to him and left him twice! Who does that!
Best part of the drama is that Sandra D was and still is married!!! She left her husband during this time and MOVED IN with Hub. I was horrified! She actually moved in when he was visiting ME!!! poetic?? no...fucking weird! I freaked out...of course! Hub and I started talking less while she lived there..obviously! I even freaked out one night and drove the 10 hour drive in the middle of the night to go see him. I was not aware she lived there yet! I found that out the hard way! AWKWARD!!!
The extremely humiliating and cruel details aside...her and I are now friends! WTH? You ask...I know!
It was about 2 years after Hub an I were back together. Married and had angel baby at this point! (ya, we didn't mess around) Sandra D became friends with one of my best friends and the ever so evil Facebook. I saw of course and lost my shit!
My friend A apologized and said she didn't know...I didn't really care! I was more freaking out bc it felt like the drama was starting back up again!
Any who...she claims she felt bad for starting up new drama and wanted to "talk". She asked Hub if this would be allowable. He laughed!
My curiosity beat out anger and I sent her an email. She messages me back the next day. Then we talked each others faces off for the next month or so and finally decide to meet! It was strange and exciting! Haha and now we are good friends! Who would have thought we had such similar personalities. ;)
We still hang out and do our bi-weekly happy hours. Some times we even get drunk enough to get strangers to guess how we met!
The Hub and I were officially broken up for a year and 4 months. It was aweful!!! I literally had to fight the urge to run crying back to him daily. And no it never got easier....never! It actually got harder! I left him. Everyone always asks that...not sure why it matters, but either way you are informed. I wanted to spend some time on my own two feet. I moved out of my parents house into his house and followed him to college then new state as he was progressing through his education and career. My life during this time was almost at a stand still. My own decision...not his. We were engaged when I left him...making it even worse to deam him my X Fiance!!! Seriously, I would have rather been divorced.
I did not just leave to be on my own...but that was the biggest part. We both had several things we needed to handle before we commited to either eachother or anyone else for that matter. We had been together for 5 years by then. I began dating him when I was 18...2months from my 19th birhtday! He was older...26.
I went back home got a job and lived with my sister. I felt rediculously sorry for myself for a long long long time. I went back to him a few months later and then left after a month...breaking his heart agian. Please let me tell you...we never stoped talking. He and I talked/texted/emailed the entire time. Even if we were dating someone else. Which yes we even talked about to eachother...weird!
Fast forward to being apart for over a year and the Hub meets someone. He really liked her and I think I may have lost my mind during this time. He came to visit me and said he was trying to decide if he wanted to be with this new person we will call her Sandra D lol or me. I was beyond ready to begin our life together at this point....PS I asked to get back together before he was seeing Sandra D. He just wasn't ready to trust that I was commited yet...or wanted me to suffer like I had made him suffer...who knows! Ps I came back to him and left him twice! Who does that!
Best part of the drama is that Sandra D was and still is married!!! She left her husband during this time and MOVED IN with Hub. I was horrified! She actually moved in when he was visiting ME!!! poetic?? no...fucking weird! I freaked out...of course! Hub and I started talking less while she lived there..obviously! I even freaked out one night and drove the 10 hour drive in the middle of the night to go see him. I was not aware she lived there yet! I found that out the hard way! AWKWARD!!!
The extremely humiliating and cruel details aside...her and I are now friends! WTH? You ask...I know!
It was about 2 years after Hub an I were back together. Married and had angel baby at this point! (ya, we didn't mess around) Sandra D became friends with one of my best friends and the ever so evil Facebook. I saw of course and lost my shit!
My friend A apologized and said she didn't know...I didn't really care! I was more freaking out bc it felt like the drama was starting back up again!
Any who...she claims she felt bad for starting up new drama and wanted to "talk". She asked Hub if this would be allowable. He laughed!
My curiosity beat out anger and I sent her an email. She messages me back the next day. Then we talked each others faces off for the next month or so and finally decide to meet! It was strange and exciting! Haha and now we are good friends! Who would have thought we had such similar personalities. ;)
We still hang out and do our bi-weekly happy hours. Some times we even get drunk enough to get strangers to guess how we met!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Vegas...medium part 2
K-Slice and I decide to go back to the pool, but less purple drank! We see fun guys from day before, and one is in the hot tub with a lady friend. K-Slice and I talk to her...Ashley, who ends up being really cool. (even though she was Canadian and a Pharmacist) I usually dislike both of those genres of people...maybe the combo is what made it ok! Who knows! We did drink some! I liked it..K-Slice was still meh from the drinking yesterday!
We left the pool and walked the strip with our new friends. We walked for a a few hours. It was great! We saw all the cool sites and saw the Bellagio lights show! The fun guys had pot I may or may not have had some! (seriously don't do drugs) Cool lights! OMG I am a mother! Oh, right my beautiful baby is at home with her awesome daddy, and I am in Vegas...yes!
ez E texts us that she wants to have dinner with us and then she is going! I was capital I IRRITATED! I am not an insensitive prick, but if you need to go..then go! Don't ruin everyone elses time! Martinis at dinner were fantastic!!! ez E lost her mind about some change and then had anal sex with the buss boy! haha kidding! I did have a MOM moment at dinner showing off pictures of our kids with the waiter.
ez E left! K-Slice and I finished getting ready and left. I may or may not have smoked more pot before we went to the club! I was wasted! or I wasn't! On our elevator ride to the club I laughed so hard I peed my dress! Looking back now...I should be much more humiliated than I was. K-Slice just laughed and looked slightly horrified! We immediately went to the restroom. I'm an idiot! There was a Lowe's convention in town! O MY middle aged, over weight blue collar people everywhere. It was quite a different scene from Saturday night! We went back to the room...bc remember I peed my dress! I took care of things and we went back out!
We stumbled on a request band! This band was so good. We sat down at a table and began drinking. I was so trashed I remember writing down smart ass comments to the band and putting it in their request jar. The band had fun with it and even at least attempted to play all my songs! We were having a great time! THEN......we got a text from ez E it said "where are you guys? I'm coming back. It just didn't feel right." I was like WTF!? K-Slice is much nicer than I and text her back where we were. I refused to text her back.
It suddenly hit me at this moment that she was certifiable. Not like the kind of crazy we all think we are, but really aren't. I mean she was a wack job! Any who...she showed up and began the explaining and crying game again. I was so over it at this point. I literally had to sit side ways in the chair with my back to he. This was my meager effort to not give her a detailed description of her insanity! I wouldn't even listen! When she kept going on and on... I would just change the subject as if she wasn't even saying sad things trying to ruin out night. She finally asked me if I was alright? I was like "Yes, you need to drink!"
One martini later and she was a wild woman. She ran out on the dance floor and ripped off her hoodie...no bra under her cami btw! She started doing some sort of Elain Bennis funky chicken sex gyrate! Even the band was like...WTF just happened! They almost stopped playing. Her granny panties were hanging out the back...it was definitely a sight! K-Slice, who was battling acid reflux, was like "I don't need to drink if ez E keeps this up." We all danced pretty much until 3am. It was fun...BUT
I still had this strange feeling that I hadn't done what I had set out to do! That being said...It hit me the other day that my Hub and I had a much more rambunctious adolescence and early adult hood than most. I am a significantly calmer person now....as is my Hub! I don't think I will have many nights like I used to. I blush now just thinking about some of the escapdes I was involved in!
The last thing ez E said to me before she fell asleep that night was "we have to do this again soon"! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! I was like...Umm Fuck NO!
We woke up went to brunch and made our way to the airport. I was like oh shoot...I have to ditch the drugs..lol! I thought about setting it in ashtray for a stranger to find...(which is what I told K-Slice I did)! Sorry K!!! I didn't want you to worry! What I actually did was give it to the cabbie...as a tip! haha Great tip bc ez E had already given him $! The best part was he didn't even act like it was weird! He just stashed it in his pocket and grabbed our luggage!
The flight back was delightful! I met a nice older gentleman named Larry! His wife passed last year and he wanted to tell me all about her and his kids...and his fatty daughter in law! He was funny! He even told me his brother died of an over dose...I was like "Oh My Larry I didn't know old people did drugs!" He says..."me either!" too funny!
The connecting flight was late and we were so exhausted. We finally got to Pittsburgh...These ladies jumped up and tried to push past us. I was so irritated! Why do people do that on planes. If we all exit our rows then we will all eventually get out faster than trying to push past each other! I stood up and blocked the 2nd lady...the Mom to the daughter that had just pushed past us. I even held my ground so K-Slice could get out. OMG this lady was furious. Us girls walked to the tram where we were greeted with two ladies. The one walked right up to me and stood there. I turned and said "hello" very delighted! She then announced to everyone that I had stomped her toe and I was so rude and I needed to apologize right then and there. I said nothing...I could already tell these ladies were looking for a fight. I had guessed they had some deep seeded Rosa Parks issues and were demanding an apology from the white girls who wanted to get off the plane first. You know the type...a minority who is confrontational and already has it set in there mind you did what you did because of what they look like..instead of the actual reason...They were ass holes and needed to wait their turn. The yelling on their part didn't stop and I didn't start. I simply said something along the lines of you should have waited your turn. I was actually kind of embarrassed, which rarely happens to me! They literally called us trailer trash and threatened to kick our asses! LOL K-Slice looks at them and says "are you going to apologize?" I think she was getting scared. I was not scared...but then again I assume everyone is like me. I have been in a fight before. I was not afraid of some old lady and her 20something daughter! I finally turned to K-Slice and said what ended the fight...weirdly. I said "well K at least after all of this we still get to be white"! I know I know! I'm a fucking CUNT! I just can't help it. I didn't mean it. I have this strange ability to hone in on exactly someones insecurities or the very thing that would cut them to silence...and then say that even when I don't mean it! It worked kinda. They calmed down or said something along the lines of they can't be helped! lol K-Slice was horrified! She even gasped when I said it! An old lady gave me a dirty look! Oh well I'm over it. (I'm not racist...just saying)
I finally made it to the car! I got to see my baby and my Hub and all was forgotten! I was HOME! UGH!! I decided right then that it will be a long time before I go on a trip with out the Hub! I just have so much fun with him. If he had been with me the whole time it would have been less Medium...I missed him too much.
We left the pool and walked the strip with our new friends. We walked for a a few hours. It was great! We saw all the cool sites and saw the Bellagio lights show! The fun guys had pot I may or may not have had some! (seriously don't do drugs) Cool lights! OMG I am a mother! Oh, right my beautiful baby is at home with her awesome daddy, and I am in Vegas...yes!
ez E texts us that she wants to have dinner with us and then she is going! I was capital I IRRITATED! I am not an insensitive prick, but if you need to go..then go! Don't ruin everyone elses time! Martinis at dinner were fantastic!!! ez E lost her mind about some change and then had anal sex with the buss boy! haha kidding! I did have a MOM moment at dinner showing off pictures of our kids with the waiter.
ez E left! K-Slice and I finished getting ready and left. I may or may not have smoked more pot before we went to the club! I was wasted! or I wasn't! On our elevator ride to the club I laughed so hard I peed my dress! Looking back now...I should be much more humiliated than I was. K-Slice just laughed and looked slightly horrified! We immediately went to the restroom. I'm an idiot! There was a Lowe's convention in town! O MY middle aged, over weight blue collar people everywhere. It was quite a different scene from Saturday night! We went back to the room...bc remember I peed my dress! I took care of things and we went back out!
We stumbled on a request band! This band was so good. We sat down at a table and began drinking. I was so trashed I remember writing down smart ass comments to the band and putting it in their request jar. The band had fun with it and even at least attempted to play all my songs! We were having a great time! THEN......we got a text from ez E it said "where are you guys? I'm coming back. It just didn't feel right." I was like WTF!? K-Slice is much nicer than I and text her back where we were. I refused to text her back.
It suddenly hit me at this moment that she was certifiable. Not like the kind of crazy we all think we are, but really aren't. I mean she was a wack job! Any who...she showed up and began the explaining and crying game again. I was so over it at this point. I literally had to sit side ways in the chair with my back to he. This was my meager effort to not give her a detailed description of her insanity! I wouldn't even listen! When she kept going on and on... I would just change the subject as if she wasn't even saying sad things trying to ruin out night. She finally asked me if I was alright? I was like "Yes, you need to drink!"
One martini later and she was a wild woman. She ran out on the dance floor and ripped off her hoodie...no bra under her cami btw! She started doing some sort of Elain Bennis funky chicken sex gyrate! Even the band was like...WTF just happened! They almost stopped playing. Her granny panties were hanging out the back...it was definitely a sight! K-Slice, who was battling acid reflux, was like "I don't need to drink if ez E keeps this up." We all danced pretty much until 3am. It was fun...BUT
I still had this strange feeling that I hadn't done what I had set out to do! That being said...It hit me the other day that my Hub and I had a much more rambunctious adolescence and early adult hood than most. I am a significantly calmer person now....as is my Hub! I don't think I will have many nights like I used to. I blush now just thinking about some of the escapdes I was involved in!
The last thing ez E said to me before she fell asleep that night was "we have to do this again soon"! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! I was like...Umm Fuck NO!
We woke up went to brunch and made our way to the airport. I was like oh shoot...I have to ditch the drugs..lol! I thought about setting it in ashtray for a stranger to find...(which is what I told K-Slice I did)! Sorry K!!! I didn't want you to worry! What I actually did was give it to the cabbie...as a tip! haha Great tip bc ez E had already given him $! The best part was he didn't even act like it was weird! He just stashed it in his pocket and grabbed our luggage!
The flight back was delightful! I met a nice older gentleman named Larry! His wife passed last year and he wanted to tell me all about her and his kids...and his fatty daughter in law! He was funny! He even told me his brother died of an over dose...I was like "Oh My Larry I didn't know old people did drugs!" He says..."me either!" too funny!
The connecting flight was late and we were so exhausted. We finally got to Pittsburgh...These ladies jumped up and tried to push past us. I was so irritated! Why do people do that on planes. If we all exit our rows then we will all eventually get out faster than trying to push past each other! I stood up and blocked the 2nd lady...the Mom to the daughter that had just pushed past us. I even held my ground so K-Slice could get out. OMG this lady was furious. Us girls walked to the tram where we were greeted with two ladies. The one walked right up to me and stood there. I turned and said "hello" very delighted! She then announced to everyone that I had stomped her toe and I was so rude and I needed to apologize right then and there. I said nothing...I could already tell these ladies were looking for a fight. I had guessed they had some deep seeded Rosa Parks issues and were demanding an apology from the white girls who wanted to get off the plane first. You know the type...a minority who is confrontational and already has it set in there mind you did what you did because of what they look like..instead of the actual reason...They were ass holes and needed to wait their turn. The yelling on their part didn't stop and I didn't start. I simply said something along the lines of you should have waited your turn. I was actually kind of embarrassed, which rarely happens to me! They literally called us trailer trash and threatened to kick our asses! LOL K-Slice looks at them and says "are you going to apologize?" I think she was getting scared. I was not scared...but then again I assume everyone is like me. I have been in a fight before. I was not afraid of some old lady and her 20something daughter! I finally turned to K-Slice and said what ended the fight...weirdly. I said "well K at least after all of this we still get to be white"! I know I know! I'm a fucking CUNT! I just can't help it. I didn't mean it. I have this strange ability to hone in on exactly someones insecurities or the very thing that would cut them to silence...and then say that even when I don't mean it! It worked kinda. They calmed down or said something along the lines of they can't be helped! lol K-Slice was horrified! She even gasped when I said it! An old lady gave me a dirty look! Oh well I'm over it. (I'm not racist...just saying)
I finally made it to the car! I got to see my baby and my Hub and all was forgotten! I was HOME! UGH!! I decided right then that it will be a long time before I go on a trip with out the Hub! I just have so much fun with him. If he had been with me the whole time it would have been less Medium...I missed him too much.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Fucking Vegas...medium part 1
I have to post more often!!! I blog in my head so often...must type thoughts!!!
SO I went to Vegas with my awesome friend K-Slice and some strange girl she works with...I call her ez E. Any who. I was so nervous and excited about this trip before I left I could hardly contain myself. I was full of OMG I am going to be the boring "mom" and no one will have fun! I was extremely nervous about being the only married person going also!
Trip began on the first flight. K-Slice and I got to sit by each other and we decided that was a good as time as any to begin drinking! We also sat next to the freaking cutest 21 year old boy on his way to study abroad...New Zealand maybe. Anyway, 5 hour flight turned into drinking laughing and convincing this boy to be young free, and not be tied down while enjoying a once in a lifetime trip in New Zealand! He had a girlfriend back home...dumb ass! Oh, and the best part he thought K-Slice and I were on spring break! OMG! I thanked him! hahahaha
We got into Vegas around 1am...4am EST! We were exhausted! We checked in and went to bed...woke up way too early! Well, it was early, but I was ready to get my party on! We went to brunch where the drinking began! All you drink mimosas and bloody mary's....this is where it got weird!
So, you know me I started poking and prodding at the new girl. I got her to talk and I was not prepared...not at all! ez E decided to enlighten me to her sexual status...Virgin! Then proceeded to inform us about all the anal sex she has had. Which ,I am sorry holier than though lady, makes you not a VIRGIN!!! I was kinda taken back... I haven't even done that! Not that I judge! I say do your thing, but don't do it to try and hold on to some kind of intimacy that you have fabricated by some holy roller christian upbringing! ughghghg!
We ...by we I mean ez E decided we should walk the strip. I agreed as did K-Slice. I know I can be a persuasive over bearing personality and just chose to back off for the trip. I know!! It was weird for me too! The strip walk lasted all of an hour...maybe! It was beautiful outside, sunny and 77 degrees. K-Slice suddenly reminds us that she saw signs for a beach at our resort. I was SOLD! We went back to the resort...by we I mean K-Slice and I. ez E decided to gamble! BORING! Jebus lady! Drinks in the hot tub...Sun! ugh again!
K-Slice and I made friends with two different sets of people. The first was an african american couple the man was wasted and the girl was umm waterever. She was kinda boring and didn't say much. She laughed a lot at Marcus <--the guy and he was funny. He kept pointing out all of the degenerates and weirdos! He was even making fun of black people! I was like omg I am not allowed to do that...uncomfortable! He thought that was even funnier! We then met these guys from Connecticut...maybe. They were my favorites! They were normal and really funny...didn't immediately quit talking to me once they found out I was married, but didn't hit on me either! We drank with them most of the day. OMG Purple drank! K-Slice decided to have to bartender make a crazy concoction of booze and we named it...Purple Drank! Jebus we were drunk! I will have to say this portion of the trip was by far my favorite!
We went upstairs to change and become beautified for show/dinner/club. K-Slice and I were trashed! I swam...literally back stroked in the tub while she showered. Insert the freak!!! ez Z decided to get my phone and K-Slices phone and take pictures of us for our men! (she tried to tell us we asked for said service...So didn't) I wasn't black out drunk! She was successful in sending the naked picture to my Hub. Less successful at sending K-Slices, thank God, to her BRAND NEW BOY! Ya, who does that ez E! Not everyone is comfortable with anal after the first date! My Hub texts me like 3 hours later and says nice ass..."are you drunk?" I said "nope I always swim in hotel bath tubs and let strangers take pictures of me." His reply..."I know!" LOL
We make it to the show after a forced vomiting spell by K-slice and me frantically trying to reach my Hub. No luck on my end. The show was medium. I liked all the woopety woo stuff like nudey twirling and growling and water aerobics. (Thank God I am not a Cirque critic.) It was cool...I would like to see another one. Maybe stoned or something next time! (No I am not an avid drug user) Oh, and Hub finally called me back. He is so shitty at having a phone! He was like...what? are you having fun? I was like umm you have my baby and I haven't been away from her like this before. Hub-oh ok sorry love you don't ger roofied. Me-love you too. I was honestly waiting for him to spaz out a little and be jealous...nope didn't happen! BORING!!
We then head to dinner. I was slightly or very annoyed at this. It was 10pm and yes I was hungry, but more cheeseburger and begin drinking again hungry! My group had decided and I agreed to go to an expensive restaurant by some famous chef. Sort version...I was crabby...food wasn't fantastic....and it cost $120...just my meal! I was furious, but hey like some strange guy said What do you expect...its Vegas!
K-Slice manned up and went out with me. I wanted to meet up with our earlier friends. K-Slice was less inclined to do so. Prob smart...they were fun, but definitely don't want to give anyone the wrong impression. I have a chronic problem with not thinking about those sorts of things. I was like...hmmm they were fun earlier and I would like to have fun now...insert fun people! OMG I am like some sort of King demanding my jester! Lord, I need to think of other peoples perspective sometimes. K-Slice and I went to an outside bar with a really cool DJ. He was so animated. I could barely dance because he was putting on such a good show! We then walked further down the strip to some club I had heard people talking about earlier. We gave up and went back...so tired!
I woke up the next morning feeling like a fucking failure and bound and determined to live the next 24 hours up! Then I hear sobbing! OMG are you fucking kidding me! Yes, that was my insensitive initial thought! ez E was crying... Evidently her pastor's wife went from being stage 4 to terminal over night and her mom decided to call her up and let her know! ez E proceeded to panic pace about the room cry and call like 5 people and let them know all about it. K-Slice and I got...coffee! By the time we got back she had decided she was going home and then called her work peeps to tell them terrible sad story. Weirdest thing ever by the way was she called person who I am assuming is her real boss and was all professional and sobby. Then, called some other important person and was like ya shes back in the hospital it sucks I'm going home, call you later! So, weird!!!
We go eat ez E is teary and sad the whole time. K-Slice and I were like WTF?!?!?! Just go home if you need to be home!
SO I went to Vegas with my awesome friend K-Slice and some strange girl she works with...I call her ez E. Any who. I was so nervous and excited about this trip before I left I could hardly contain myself. I was full of OMG I am going to be the boring "mom" and no one will have fun! I was extremely nervous about being the only married person going also!
Trip began on the first flight. K-Slice and I got to sit by each other and we decided that was a good as time as any to begin drinking! We also sat next to the freaking cutest 21 year old boy on his way to study abroad...New Zealand maybe. Anyway, 5 hour flight turned into drinking laughing and convincing this boy to be young free, and not be tied down while enjoying a once in a lifetime trip in New Zealand! He had a girlfriend back home...dumb ass! Oh, and the best part he thought K-Slice and I were on spring break! OMG! I thanked him! hahahaha
We got into Vegas around 1am...4am EST! We were exhausted! We checked in and went to bed...woke up way too early! Well, it was early, but I was ready to get my party on! We went to brunch where the drinking began! All you drink mimosas and bloody mary's....this is where it got weird!
So, you know me I started poking and prodding at the new girl. I got her to talk and I was not prepared...not at all! ez E decided to enlighten me to her sexual status...Virgin! Then proceeded to inform us about all the anal sex she has had. Which ,I am sorry holier than though lady, makes you not a VIRGIN!!! I was kinda taken back... I haven't even done that! Not that I judge! I say do your thing, but don't do it to try and hold on to some kind of intimacy that you have fabricated by some holy roller christian upbringing! ughghghg!
We ...by we I mean ez E decided we should walk the strip. I agreed as did K-Slice. I know I can be a persuasive over bearing personality and just chose to back off for the trip. I know!! It was weird for me too! The strip walk lasted all of an hour...maybe! It was beautiful outside, sunny and 77 degrees. K-Slice suddenly reminds us that she saw signs for a beach at our resort. I was SOLD! We went back to the resort...by we I mean K-Slice and I. ez E decided to gamble! BORING! Jebus lady! Drinks in the hot tub...Sun! ugh again!
K-Slice and I made friends with two different sets of people. The first was an african american couple the man was wasted and the girl was umm waterever. She was kinda boring and didn't say much. She laughed a lot at Marcus <--the guy and he was funny. He kept pointing out all of the degenerates and weirdos! He was even making fun of black people! I was like omg I am not allowed to do that...uncomfortable! He thought that was even funnier! We then met these guys from Connecticut...maybe. They were my favorites! They were normal and really funny...didn't immediately quit talking to me once they found out I was married, but didn't hit on me either! We drank with them most of the day. OMG Purple drank! K-Slice decided to have to bartender make a crazy concoction of booze and we named it...Purple Drank! Jebus we were drunk! I will have to say this portion of the trip was by far my favorite!
We went upstairs to change and become beautified for show/dinner/club. K-Slice and I were trashed! I swam...literally back stroked in the tub while she showered. Insert the freak!!! ez Z decided to get my phone and K-Slices phone and take pictures of us for our men! (she tried to tell us we asked for said service...So didn't) I wasn't black out drunk! She was successful in sending the naked picture to my Hub. Less successful at sending K-Slices, thank God, to her BRAND NEW BOY! Ya, who does that ez E! Not everyone is comfortable with anal after the first date! My Hub texts me like 3 hours later and says nice ass..."are you drunk?" I said "nope I always swim in hotel bath tubs and let strangers take pictures of me." His reply..."I know!" LOL
We make it to the show after a forced vomiting spell by K-slice and me frantically trying to reach my Hub. No luck on my end. The show was medium. I liked all the woopety woo stuff like nudey twirling and growling and water aerobics. (Thank God I am not a Cirque critic.) It was cool...I would like to see another one. Maybe stoned or something next time! (No I am not an avid drug user) Oh, and Hub finally called me back. He is so shitty at having a phone! He was like...what? are you having fun? I was like umm you have my baby and I haven't been away from her like this before. Hub-oh ok sorry love you don't ger roofied. Me-love you too. I was honestly waiting for him to spaz out a little and be jealous...nope didn't happen! BORING!!
We then head to dinner. I was slightly or very annoyed at this. It was 10pm and yes I was hungry, but more cheeseburger and begin drinking again hungry! My group had decided and I agreed to go to an expensive restaurant by some famous chef. Sort version...I was crabby...food wasn't fantastic....and it cost $120...just my meal! I was furious, but hey like some strange guy said What do you expect...its Vegas!
K-Slice manned up and went out with me. I wanted to meet up with our earlier friends. K-Slice was less inclined to do so. Prob smart...they were fun, but definitely don't want to give anyone the wrong impression. I have a chronic problem with not thinking about those sorts of things. I was like...hmmm they were fun earlier and I would like to have fun now...insert fun people! OMG I am like some sort of King demanding my jester! Lord, I need to think of other peoples perspective sometimes. K-Slice and I went to an outside bar with a really cool DJ. He was so animated. I could barely dance because he was putting on such a good show! We then walked further down the strip to some club I had heard people talking about earlier. We gave up and went back...so tired!
I woke up the next morning feeling like a fucking failure and bound and determined to live the next 24 hours up! Then I hear sobbing! OMG are you fucking kidding me! Yes, that was my insensitive initial thought! ez E was crying... Evidently her pastor's wife went from being stage 4 to terminal over night and her mom decided to call her up and let her know! ez E proceeded to panic pace about the room cry and call like 5 people and let them know all about it. K-Slice and I got...coffee! By the time we got back she had decided she was going home and then called her work peeps to tell them terrible sad story. Weirdest thing ever by the way was she called person who I am assuming is her real boss and was all professional and sobby. Then, called some other important person and was like ya shes back in the hospital it sucks I'm going home, call you later! So, weird!!!
We go eat ez E is teary and sad the whole time. K-Slice and I were like WTF?!?!?! Just go home if you need to be home!
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