Best Friends...

I have really been hesitating on posting! I hate sad or feel sorry for me blogging.

Most of the time when I worry about something...I talk about it and then I'm over it. Just weird! ...rambling sorry!

I have been thinking a lot lately about having a best friend. I am a very social, talkative, outgoing person. Very type A personality! I have a lot of friends. I just don't have a one go to girl. I think it is so strange! Almost all of my friends have a best friend. They have that one person!

I try to of course analyze myself and get to the bottom of this. The fact of the matter is I do have a best friend. He's my husband....insert "awwwee" here. Gag! Truthfully, though he knows everything about me. I never lie to him. Even when we were broken up for a while, during our dating years, I confessed every disgusting haha thing I did! Who does this?!? If for some crazy reason I do feel the need to fib; I always confess in a very short amount of time. As if lying...fibbing to him is some crime against our sacred truth!

I tell him pretty much everything. Even the stuff he probably doesn't want to hear. (o shit I think I have a yeast infection; o man I'm constipated; I wish I was alone right now...could u go away..luv u; hey the new pharmacist that I share an office with is totally hot!; I'm quitting shaving my legs this week...it's over rated; um I can see your penis through those pants..sexy; hey I think I can see that girls...yep! Take a look big guy! Lol) Ya, we are weird!

I'm convinced it is not normal to be best friends with your husband. Oh ya, I know, ideal situation right? Then why do I feel like I'm lacking something in my life?

I have a very hard time trusting women. Truthfully, my husband is the only human being I fully trust. I also loose interest in people very easily. Once I think I have someone figured out, I'm bored! Im paranoid I'm too needy. Nervous I may say something too personal that will then be repeated to said best friend. I'm also a ridiculously jealous human being! If I think there is another friend, in one of my friends lives, that she is closer to...I automatically put my guard up. I just assume I won't be the number one, so what's the point. Omg! That's it!!! I have to be number one. Maybe....

Either way with all my issues I am definitely not best friend material.

Maybe, I will work on it! Maybe, I could hold some sort of best friend talent search! Maybe, I should get over myself.

The truth is I have had a best friend....and I miss her!