Two things I miss from my former life! Drinking with out guilt and shit to do the next day, and my Scar!
I wish there was a most satisfying way to describe my most epic friendship, but there is not! I suppose I should explain.
I met Scar when I was 18.. I worked for her then boyfriend. Truth be told I was ridiculously intimidated by her at first. She is so pretty...blonde and drove a Volkswagen beetle! I had always wanted one! I remember very vividly the moment I knew she was "cool" we were in the Kmart parking lot...lord knows why? She put on the song " in your face" by ebony eyez! I was like yep I really really like her! We hung out a lot that summer. You know very casual...getting tattoos and trying to drink! We weren't 21 yet obviously!
I moved away with Hub. He was going to college about an hour and a half away. We slowly stopped talking. My fault not hers. I really suck at staying in touch with people. I'm a lot better now!
We did talk a few times in between, but we really picked back up when Hub and I broke up. I got reconnected with her through a mutual HD friend and that was it! We were thick as thieves all over again. She got me a job at the Harley Davidson store.
So basically our lives consisted of working together then hanging out every weekend! It was awesome! We were known as the "Harley Girls". Yes, we loved that too! We made too many memories to account for, and too inappropriate to write here :)!
I left after the summer, and went back to Hub. It was the most awful good bye I have ever had to do. My niece was with me, and even commented "I hope I love a friend that much some day"! I cried harder.
When I left Hub again My Scar and I moved in together. We got an apartment we called the palace...and it was awesome! She had also broke up with her longtime boyfriend. She had a new man...I didn't! :(
We basically did all the fucked up stuff two young girls do...or say they wish they did! Looking back I think we almost had something to prove! We were going to be young forever! We thought! Literally I am scared for our lives thinking back! We were wild! And it was awesome! We were Famous in a small town!
Why she is my Scar is harder to explain. We had a retardedly outrageous misunderstanding! We like to pretend it never happened twice! I cringe just thinking about it! I tried to erase her... Tried! It just didn't work! I swear loosing a best friend is worse than loosing an X! At least with an X you can agree that you just don't belong together or some one cheated or the relationship is going no where. Loosing your best friend is like loosing the part of you only she knows!
Every fucking song reminded me if some crazy drunken night... "We are going streaking!", "No Wanda don't shit in the trash can", you girls wanna come on over and let the good times roll...umm NO" lolol! I couldn't watch the MTV movie awards for two years! I stopped loving Kathy Griffin... And God help us if I saw an FJ! It was pretty ridiculous!
We talk now...it is a lot easier! We saw each other last month! So awkward lol! I was so excited! Have you ever been so excited and try to pretend its just another day no big deal! HA! I was like a teenager going to a party for the first time! I'm pretty sure I ruined our night out by asking my Hub to pick me up. I was way to drunk and shouldn't drive. I swear the minute he walked in the spell was broken! We remembered we were grown ups! Not those fun woo girls anymore! Poof it was gone!
Either way I'm glad I have her back in my life in whatever form I can get. No we probably aren't the best friends we used to be...but she will always get me and never judge me! And I bet if we tried really hard we could have our mental texting conversations.
I just love her...
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Bicker bicker
Happy Saturday! I go into this weekend reeling from yet another tif with my Hub. Last week we essentially had the same fight just different subject.
Basically I want to control everything and Hub wants to act like he is 24 and no one to answer to. No, he doesn't want to cheat or be gross. He just wants to trot off to work...not a care in the world...come home, say what's for dinner, stare at his computer screen, and tell me how "important" his work is...go to the gym as he pleases, and play softball on whichever nights suit him regardless of my schedule.
He says I want to put a tracking device up his butt and dictate his every move.
Neither examples are accurate, but you get the idea! I don't really mind him being in his own head during the week. I like to read and watch my shows anyway. My biggest issue is our little darling. She absolutely adores him...adores! He chooses a different parenting approach than I! I can't stand when I feel like he is not paying attention to her or giving her his time. I probably pay too much attention!
Ugh! This weeks fight! We stager our gym times and work shifts so angel baby is away from us the least amount of time. PS I only work 3.5 days a week! He only has to pick her up Tues and Thursday from Daycare. Thursday roles around and I decide to cut out a little early and the catch kettle bell class. I walk in and little miss judgey pants and her very genuinely nice husband are standing there holding their two kids. I'm like heyyyyy insert fake smile...I didn't know you guys belonged here??? Umm yes I did. I have just been pretending the last two times I saw the wife, that I didn't see her. Miss judgey pants is maybe 22 now...basically married her HS sweetie Genuinely nice guy (who works w/ Hub) she instantly got pregnant! Was st. Patricks day green w/ her kids. Meaning breast fed, organic evarythinnggg!, stayed home, baby sign language, co-sleeping, carried them everywhere, and judged everyone who didn't do it the very same way! Then she had the second one! Oh ya barely looked pregnant the whole time...lost baby weight instantly! Then acted like she was still chubby! Yeah basically kill yourself judgey pants!
So she says oh hey how are you! Genuinely nice guy says where's angel baby. I say oh yep I know the answer to that...yep "she is in the gym play room". (where Hub brings her every Thursday while he plays raquette ball after picking her up from daycare) I walk into the play room...and uh oh where is my kid??? Miss judgey pants says nothing. She probably knew I would loose it. I'm obviously mortified...what kind of mother doesn't know where her toddler is??? I calmly walk down to Hub. "where is the baby," I say? "oh at Daycare", he says! I calmly walk away after giving him a "you are so fucked and not in a fun way, when you get home" look!
I leave, miss my class, and go get the baby. When Hub gets home he's like you could have told me you were getting her. I say "oh ya jack ass, you should have gotten her before the gym and brought her with you"! He says "you never would have known if you would had been at work". Now let's pause right there. That's the phrase I'm stuck on! "I never would have known!!!" WTF!!!! That's the problem. I should be informed no matter what! Plus she would have gotten to have her Daddy pick her up...she would have had the snack that I pack for her every Thurs...and she would have gotten the one on one time in the car to and from the gym. He doesn't understand this. Oh and i wouldn't be the subject of judgey pants' play group next week! Hub says she fine and proceeds to tell me that I try to control everything. We were at a stale mate. He slept on the couch...still find it funny he thinks that's a punishment! Haha 200 less pounds of mass in a queen size bed! I slept wonderfully! Now if he would leave the house completely...that's a punishment! I would have robbery and arson dreams, and not sleep a wink!
I text him the next day...hope we can talk tonight. I don't like fighting. He texts back something about having to "take a stand" aka sleeping on the couch lololol to show me he was mr. Man and wouldn't b run by woman folk! Whatever!!!!!!
I call him on the way to work to make sure he still loves me and just like that fight is over! We didn't solve a thing, and Hubs back hurts from the couch!
I wonder if I could train him to "take a stand" by having sex with me then going to sleep on the couch! Yes, that would really teach me ;)
Basically I want to control everything and Hub wants to act like he is 24 and no one to answer to. No, he doesn't want to cheat or be gross. He just wants to trot off to work...not a care in the world...come home, say what's for dinner, stare at his computer screen, and tell me how "important" his work is...go to the gym as he pleases, and play softball on whichever nights suit him regardless of my schedule.
He says I want to put a tracking device up his butt and dictate his every move.
Neither examples are accurate, but you get the idea! I don't really mind him being in his own head during the week. I like to read and watch my shows anyway. My biggest issue is our little darling. She absolutely adores him...adores! He chooses a different parenting approach than I! I can't stand when I feel like he is not paying attention to her or giving her his time. I probably pay too much attention!
Ugh! This weeks fight! We stager our gym times and work shifts so angel baby is away from us the least amount of time. PS I only work 3.5 days a week! He only has to pick her up Tues and Thursday from Daycare. Thursday roles around and I decide to cut out a little early and the catch kettle bell class. I walk in and little miss judgey pants and her very genuinely nice husband are standing there holding their two kids. I'm like heyyyyy insert fake smile...I didn't know you guys belonged here??? Umm yes I did. I have just been pretending the last two times I saw the wife, that I didn't see her. Miss judgey pants is maybe 22 now...basically married her HS sweetie Genuinely nice guy (who works w/ Hub) she instantly got pregnant! Was st. Patricks day green w/ her kids. Meaning breast fed, organic evarythinnggg!, stayed home, baby sign language, co-sleeping, carried them everywhere, and judged everyone who didn't do it the very same way! Then she had the second one! Oh ya barely looked pregnant the whole time...lost baby weight instantly! Then acted like she was still chubby! Yeah basically kill yourself judgey pants!
So she says oh hey how are you! Genuinely nice guy says where's angel baby. I say oh yep I know the answer to that...yep "she is in the gym play room". (where Hub brings her every Thursday while he plays raquette ball after picking her up from daycare) I walk into the play room...and uh oh where is my kid??? Miss judgey pants says nothing. She probably knew I would loose it. I'm obviously mortified...what kind of mother doesn't know where her toddler is??? I calmly walk down to Hub. "where is the baby," I say? "oh at Daycare", he says! I calmly walk away after giving him a "you are so fucked and not in a fun way, when you get home" look!
I leave, miss my class, and go get the baby. When Hub gets home he's like you could have told me you were getting her. I say "oh ya jack ass, you should have gotten her before the gym and brought her with you"! He says "you never would have known if you would had been at work". Now let's pause right there. That's the phrase I'm stuck on! "I never would have known!!!" WTF!!!! That's the problem. I should be informed no matter what! Plus she would have gotten to have her Daddy pick her up...she would have had the snack that I pack for her every Thurs...and she would have gotten the one on one time in the car to and from the gym. He doesn't understand this. Oh and i wouldn't be the subject of judgey pants' play group next week! Hub says she fine and proceeds to tell me that I try to control everything. We were at a stale mate. He slept on the couch...still find it funny he thinks that's a punishment! Haha 200 less pounds of mass in a queen size bed! I slept wonderfully! Now if he would leave the house completely...that's a punishment! I would have robbery and arson dreams, and not sleep a wink!
I text him the next day...hope we can talk tonight. I don't like fighting. He texts back something about having to "take a stand" aka sleeping on the couch lololol to show me he was mr. Man and wouldn't b run by woman folk! Whatever!!!!!!
I call him on the way to work to make sure he still loves me and just like that fight is over! We didn't solve a thing, and Hubs back hurts from the couch!
I wonder if I could train him to "take a stand" by having sex with me then going to sleep on the couch! Yes, that would really teach me ;)
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Baby talk
I'm very satisfied with my daughter! She is incredibly smart, independent, and a very happy child. Seriously, she amazes me every day. She was playing with a toy that said "ok let's count to ten"...then she did! I was like WTH???? I mean she just learns things! I prob sound like a freak counting everything or singing the ABC's over and over along w/ her other favorites, but soooo worth it when she picks it up! It's the most amazing part of being a mom! Literally watching her learn and react to the world around her. I think I have said that before, but I am a proud momma!
Now that is kind of the problem! I am so content with the her...I have no desire to have any more. So much so, I have tried to convince my Hub to get a vasectomy! His response was "I'm not 100% on having another child either. I just don't want to finalize anything." To me this sounded like...don't worry you will get baby fever some day! Ummm wrong, I'm good big guy! But am I???
My cons:
-I will probably have to stop working. Which will ultimately lead to some sort of mental shut down. I love working! It gets me out of the house...I feel like a grown up for a few hours...and I make some $ for myself!
-I had terrible postpartum depression. I didn't feel right for over a year. The first 6 months were awful! I just felt like I was going through the motions.
-Am I ready to give up another 2years of freedom? I year of trying/pregnancy...and second year of nursing!
-I do not want another girl...although if I had one I wouldn't send it back or anything! I'm sure she would be perfect in every way and I would adore her. I'm just scared another girl would interfere in my relationship with R. I want to be close with my kid...I was not close with my Mother! I'm so the type of person who has a favorite! You know how moms say oh I love all my kids the same!?!? Bullshit! All the siblings always know the favorite! If I had a boy it would be different. Two girls would send me into "don't fuck your kids up overload."
-I don't want to gain a million pounds again!
My pros:
-All only children are spoiled assholes! I'm not raising an asshole!
-My Hub wants more children. I want my Hub to be happy!
-I would get to nurse again. I loved it! Even though it was a sacrifice...and I felt relief when it was over. You can't compare that kind of connection to anything else.
-I know it would be cute. Who doesn't need more cute people in the world.
-I truly value my relationships with my siblings...I want R to have that in her life!
-When I'm around my friends daughter I want more! I blame them for having such a sweet cute little girl! Even though the girls are essentially the same age...I think, hmmm this is awesome! Not terrible at all! This would be awesome...just one would be smaller and cry more!
-I won't have to have anymore if we have another. People keep asking and I keep avoiding the question! After two I will be certain I'm finished...right?
Ugh 2? I would be outnumbered at least 45 hours a week! Haha! I can't! To be continued... I guess I will give it another year. My Hub and I can decide then!
Now that is kind of the problem! I am so content with the her...I have no desire to have any more. So much so, I have tried to convince my Hub to get a vasectomy! His response was "I'm not 100% on having another child either. I just don't want to finalize anything." To me this sounded like...don't worry you will get baby fever some day! Ummm wrong, I'm good big guy! But am I???
My cons:
-I will probably have to stop working. Which will ultimately lead to some sort of mental shut down. I love working! It gets me out of the house...I feel like a grown up for a few hours...and I make some $ for myself!
-I had terrible postpartum depression. I didn't feel right for over a year. The first 6 months were awful! I just felt like I was going through the motions.
-Am I ready to give up another 2years of freedom? I year of trying/pregnancy...and second year of nursing!
-I do not want another girl...although if I had one I wouldn't send it back or anything! I'm sure she would be perfect in every way and I would adore her. I'm just scared another girl would interfere in my relationship with R. I want to be close with my kid...I was not close with my Mother! I'm so the type of person who has a favorite! You know how moms say oh I love all my kids the same!?!? Bullshit! All the siblings always know the favorite! If I had a boy it would be different. Two girls would send me into "don't fuck your kids up overload."
-I don't want to gain a million pounds again!
My pros:
-All only children are spoiled assholes! I'm not raising an asshole!
-My Hub wants more children. I want my Hub to be happy!
-I would get to nurse again. I loved it! Even though it was a sacrifice...and I felt relief when it was over. You can't compare that kind of connection to anything else.
-I know it would be cute. Who doesn't need more cute people in the world.
-I truly value my relationships with my siblings...I want R to have that in her life!
-When I'm around my friends daughter I want more! I blame them for having such a sweet cute little girl! Even though the girls are essentially the same age...I think, hmmm this is awesome! Not terrible at all! This would be awesome...just one would be smaller and cry more!
-I won't have to have anymore if we have another. People keep asking and I keep avoiding the question! After two I will be certain I'm finished...right?
Ugh 2? I would be outnumbered at least 45 hours a week! Haha! I can't! To be continued... I guess I will give it another year. My Hub and I can decide then!
Friday, May 4, 2012
Win some and lose some
Today is a day of....anxiety of course!
I drank almost 5 days in a row at the end of last week. I was home visiting my friends and family. Every time I go home I hang out with a ton of people I have not seen in months...and usually alcohol is involved!
I was with out my Hub for most of the trip. This is a terrible combination! Me drinking a ton and no one to keep me sane! Lol sane is maybe a bad choice of words. It's just that I don't act like a lunatic when he is around. Maybe I know he's the only one who will tell me "hey dumbass knock it off"!
So my anxiety is stemming from some of my friends seeing my completely wasted antics...and others I have told the story!
I will start by making excuses for myself. I drank for five hours at a winery all day. We evidently drank so much they cut us off! Wow that was officially the first time that ever happened to me. My brother was our sober driver, and took us to a new bar. A skanky little bar in my home town. I drank $1 drafts and some dumbass was buying us rumple mints shots! Still irritated with that girl!
After that it's gets some what blurry! I unfortunately never have those black out drunk moments...only once in my life did I have a night I truly do not remember! I'm thankful for the blurriness though, I would prob be much more embarrassed if it were more clear!
We go to eat at Steak n' Shake. I would like to remind everyone that it is only 6 or 7pm at this point! We walk in looking awful I'm sure. We sit down and an older lady makes some snide comment about how trashed we were and stupid kids or something. I then let this lady have it! I told her don't take it out on us bc you're old and fat and hate your life! Her husband freaked out and started wagging his finger at me saying don't you disrespect my wife like that. I told him to kill himself and something else like what are you gonna do about it!
Seriously...WTF!!! Is wrong with me! Those people must have been horrified! I'm horrified. I don't know why I was being so mean...I blame the rumple mints!
I guess I'm a mean drunk. It just takes a lot of drink to get me to that point! Either way I wish I could apologize to that lady and explain I was in some sort of drunk induced psychosis! Ugh horrifying!
To make matters worse I have been busy apologizing to my friend S and and my brother. Hoping they believe me that I don't normally behave that way. The friends I have told the story to seem to be just as horrified! Awesome!!!
I tell my Hub...he's not even concerned . He simply says babe you can't be acting like that! He also reminds me that shit would never have happened if he was there. I say why??? He says bc I would have taken your drunk ass out before you could embarrass me! Thanks Hunny! Drop kick me into sobriety!
I drank almost 5 days in a row at the end of last week. I was home visiting my friends and family. Every time I go home I hang out with a ton of people I have not seen in months...and usually alcohol is involved!
I was with out my Hub for most of the trip. This is a terrible combination! Me drinking a ton and no one to keep me sane! Lol sane is maybe a bad choice of words. It's just that I don't act like a lunatic when he is around. Maybe I know he's the only one who will tell me "hey dumbass knock it off"!
So my anxiety is stemming from some of my friends seeing my completely wasted antics...and others I have told the story!
I will start by making excuses for myself. I drank for five hours at a winery all day. We evidently drank so much they cut us off! Wow that was officially the first time that ever happened to me. My brother was our sober driver, and took us to a new bar. A skanky little bar in my home town. I drank $1 drafts and some dumbass was buying us rumple mints shots! Still irritated with that girl!
After that it's gets some what blurry! I unfortunately never have those black out drunk moments...only once in my life did I have a night I truly do not remember! I'm thankful for the blurriness though, I would prob be much more embarrassed if it were more clear!
We go to eat at Steak n' Shake. I would like to remind everyone that it is only 6 or 7pm at this point! We walk in looking awful I'm sure. We sit down and an older lady makes some snide comment about how trashed we were and stupid kids or something. I then let this lady have it! I told her don't take it out on us bc you're old and fat and hate your life! Her husband freaked out and started wagging his finger at me saying don't you disrespect my wife like that. I told him to kill himself and something else like what are you gonna do about it!
Seriously...WTF!!! Is wrong with me! Those people must have been horrified! I'm horrified. I don't know why I was being so mean...I blame the rumple mints!
I guess I'm a mean drunk. It just takes a lot of drink to get me to that point! Either way I wish I could apologize to that lady and explain I was in some sort of drunk induced psychosis! Ugh horrifying!
To make matters worse I have been busy apologizing to my friend S and and my brother. Hoping they believe me that I don't normally behave that way. The friends I have told the story to seem to be just as horrified! Awesome!!!
I tell my Hub...he's not even concerned . He simply says babe you can't be acting like that! He also reminds me that shit would never have happened if he was there. I say why??? He says bc I would have taken your drunk ass out before you could embarrass me! Thanks Hunny! Drop kick me into sobriety!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Anxiety
I know that most people have a mild form of anxiety. Some people have extreme...or somewhere in the middle anxiety!
Today I feel like the middle making it's way to extreme. Today it's so much worse than normal because I can't really pin point why or where its coming from. I feel like I'm just on the verge of freaking out! Lord I have issues!
My stressor lately:
I have been wondering if all Moms instantly feel this really close bond with there child?!?! I go in and out of super closeness to hmm does she even like me? It freaks me the fuck out! As I have stated before I don't want to screw her up or make her weird. So, I try to reign in my co-dependent nature and allow her to set her boundaries. Meaning...if she doesn't want to hug, kiss, cuddle, hold hands while in the car, or sit next to me while we watch V-V (TV) - then I do not force her. Sometimes it sucks so bad I just want to scream "what the heck kid?; try and get your own milk out of the fridge and heat up your own vreen vreens (green beans)! Of course I never say this out loud. I internalize and whine to my hub!
Then out of nowhere like all that Mommy you don't matter to me stuff ever happened...she is obsessed! Up my ass can't leave the room, have to hold hands in the car, kisses and hugs all day, and help cleaning up! Like my little lovable side kick out of nowhere!
Maybe that's just how kids are...I know I just need to relax! But this is definitely something I wasn't told before I was a Mom. It's not really something most people talk about I guess. I thought I was basically giving birth to "love"! As if she was put here to love love love me all the days then hate me when she's a teenager and then love love love me again! I'm prepared for the teenager thing...but seriously she is 19months old!!!
I need to call my mom!
On the opposite side of the spectrum I suppose I have days like her also...days when I just wish her nap would be a little bit longer. I sometimes drag my feet on the nights my hub is picking her up from daycare. ...squeezing every second of alone time I have!
Maybe my sweet angel and I are so similar I have failed to see it! After re-reading this post I think...your baby is just like you dumbass! She likes her space sometimes too!
Ok ok I will heat up your vreen vreens and get your milk when u don't want to sit next to me during Melmo and Big big (big bird) time!
Today I feel like the middle making it's way to extreme. Today it's so much worse than normal because I can't really pin point why or where its coming from. I feel like I'm just on the verge of freaking out! Lord I have issues!
My stressor lately:
I have been wondering if all Moms instantly feel this really close bond with there child?!?! I go in and out of super closeness to hmm does she even like me? It freaks me the fuck out! As I have stated before I don't want to screw her up or make her weird. So, I try to reign in my co-dependent nature and allow her to set her boundaries. Meaning...if she doesn't want to hug, kiss, cuddle, hold hands while in the car, or sit next to me while we watch V-V (TV) - then I do not force her. Sometimes it sucks so bad I just want to scream "what the heck kid?; try and get your own milk out of the fridge and heat up your own vreen vreens (green beans)! Of course I never say this out loud. I internalize and whine to my hub!
Then out of nowhere like all that Mommy you don't matter to me stuff ever happened...she is obsessed! Up my ass can't leave the room, have to hold hands in the car, kisses and hugs all day, and help cleaning up! Like my little lovable side kick out of nowhere!
Maybe that's just how kids are...I know I just need to relax! But this is definitely something I wasn't told before I was a Mom. It's not really something most people talk about I guess. I thought I was basically giving birth to "love"! As if she was put here to love love love me all the days then hate me when she's a teenager and then love love love me again! I'm prepared for the teenager thing...but seriously she is 19months old!!!
I need to call my mom!
On the opposite side of the spectrum I suppose I have days like her also...days when I just wish her nap would be a little bit longer. I sometimes drag my feet on the nights my hub is picking her up from daycare. ...squeezing every second of alone time I have!
Maybe my sweet angel and I are so similar I have failed to see it! After re-reading this post I think...your baby is just like you dumbass! She likes her space sometimes too!
Ok ok I will heat up your vreen vreens and get your milk when u don't want to sit next to me during Melmo and Big big (big bird) time!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
strange company
My Hub and I did spend some time apart. This I have alluded to several times in my blog so far. Some day I think I will go through the ins and outs of that. For right now I will just give you the run down so you can understand my strange company.
The Hub and I were officially broken up for a year and 4 months. It was aweful!!! I literally had to fight the urge to run crying back to him daily. And no it never got easier....never! It actually got harder! I left him. Everyone always asks that...not sure why it matters, but either way you are informed. I wanted to spend some time on my own two feet. I moved out of my parents house into his house and followed him to college then new state as he was progressing through his education and career. My life during this time was almost at a stand still. My own decision...not his. We were engaged when I left him...making it even worse to deam him my X Fiance!!! Seriously, I would have rather been divorced.
I did not just leave to be on my own...but that was the biggest part. We both had several things we needed to handle before we commited to either eachother or anyone else for that matter. We had been together for 5 years by then. I began dating him when I was 18...2months from my 19th birhtday! He was older...26.
I went back home got a job and lived with my sister. I felt rediculously sorry for myself for a long long long time. I went back to him a few months later and then left after a month...breaking his heart agian. Please let me tell you...we never stoped talking. He and I talked/texted/emailed the entire time. Even if we were dating someone else. Which yes we even talked about to eachother...weird!
Fast forward to being apart for over a year and the Hub meets someone. He really liked her and I think I may have lost my mind during this time. He came to visit me and said he was trying to decide if he wanted to be with this new person we will call her Sandra D lol or me. I was beyond ready to begin our life together at this point....PS I asked to get back together before he was seeing Sandra D. He just wasn't ready to trust that I was commited yet...or wanted me to suffer like I had made him suffer...who knows! Ps I came back to him and left him twice! Who does that!
Best part of the drama is that Sandra D was and still is married!!! She left her husband during this time and MOVED IN with Hub. I was horrified! She actually moved in when he was visiting ME!!! poetic?? no...fucking weird! I freaked out...of course! Hub and I started talking less while she lived there..obviously! I even freaked out one night and drove the 10 hour drive in the middle of the night to go see him. I was not aware she lived there yet! I found that out the hard way! AWKWARD!!!
The extremely humiliating and cruel details aside...her and I are now friends! WTH? You ask...I know!
It was about 2 years after Hub an I were back together. Married and had angel baby at this point! (ya, we didn't mess around) Sandra D became friends with one of my best friends and the ever so evil Facebook. I saw of course and lost my shit!
My friend A apologized and said she didn't know...I didn't really care! I was more freaking out bc it felt like the drama was starting back up again!
Any who...she claims she felt bad for starting up new drama and wanted to "talk". She asked Hub if this would be allowable. He laughed!
My curiosity beat out anger and I sent her an email. She messages me back the next day. Then we talked each others faces off for the next month or so and finally decide to meet! It was strange and exciting! Haha and now we are good friends! Who would have thought we had such similar personalities. ;)
We still hang out and do our bi-weekly happy hours. Some times we even get drunk enough to get strangers to guess how we met!
The Hub and I were officially broken up for a year and 4 months. It was aweful!!! I literally had to fight the urge to run crying back to him daily. And no it never got easier....never! It actually got harder! I left him. Everyone always asks that...not sure why it matters, but either way you are informed. I wanted to spend some time on my own two feet. I moved out of my parents house into his house and followed him to college then new state as he was progressing through his education and career. My life during this time was almost at a stand still. My own decision...not his. We were engaged when I left him...making it even worse to deam him my X Fiance!!! Seriously, I would have rather been divorced.
I did not just leave to be on my own...but that was the biggest part. We both had several things we needed to handle before we commited to either eachother or anyone else for that matter. We had been together for 5 years by then. I began dating him when I was 18...2months from my 19th birhtday! He was older...26.
I went back home got a job and lived with my sister. I felt rediculously sorry for myself for a long long long time. I went back to him a few months later and then left after a month...breaking his heart agian. Please let me tell you...we never stoped talking. He and I talked/texted/emailed the entire time. Even if we were dating someone else. Which yes we even talked about to eachother...weird!
Fast forward to being apart for over a year and the Hub meets someone. He really liked her and I think I may have lost my mind during this time. He came to visit me and said he was trying to decide if he wanted to be with this new person we will call her Sandra D lol or me. I was beyond ready to begin our life together at this point....PS I asked to get back together before he was seeing Sandra D. He just wasn't ready to trust that I was commited yet...or wanted me to suffer like I had made him suffer...who knows! Ps I came back to him and left him twice! Who does that!
Best part of the drama is that Sandra D was and still is married!!! She left her husband during this time and MOVED IN with Hub. I was horrified! She actually moved in when he was visiting ME!!! poetic?? no...fucking weird! I freaked out...of course! Hub and I started talking less while she lived there..obviously! I even freaked out one night and drove the 10 hour drive in the middle of the night to go see him. I was not aware she lived there yet! I found that out the hard way! AWKWARD!!!
The extremely humiliating and cruel details aside...her and I are now friends! WTH? You ask...I know!
It was about 2 years after Hub an I were back together. Married and had angel baby at this point! (ya, we didn't mess around) Sandra D became friends with one of my best friends and the ever so evil Facebook. I saw of course and lost my shit!
My friend A apologized and said she didn't know...I didn't really care! I was more freaking out bc it felt like the drama was starting back up again!
Any who...she claims she felt bad for starting up new drama and wanted to "talk". She asked Hub if this would be allowable. He laughed!
My curiosity beat out anger and I sent her an email. She messages me back the next day. Then we talked each others faces off for the next month or so and finally decide to meet! It was strange and exciting! Haha and now we are good friends! Who would have thought we had such similar personalities. ;)
We still hang out and do our bi-weekly happy hours. Some times we even get drunk enough to get strangers to guess how we met!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Vegas...medium part 2
K-Slice and I decide to go back to the pool, but less purple drank! We see fun guys from day before, and one is in the hot tub with a lady friend. K-Slice and I talk to her...Ashley, who ends up being really cool. (even though she was Canadian and a Pharmacist) I usually dislike both of those genres of people...maybe the combo is what made it ok! Who knows! We did drink some! I liked it..K-Slice was still meh from the drinking yesterday!
We left the pool and walked the strip with our new friends. We walked for a a few hours. It was great! We saw all the cool sites and saw the Bellagio lights show! The fun guys had pot I may or may not have had some! (seriously don't do drugs) Cool lights! OMG I am a mother! Oh, right my beautiful baby is at home with her awesome daddy, and I am in Vegas...yes!
ez E texts us that she wants to have dinner with us and then she is going! I was capital I IRRITATED! I am not an insensitive prick, but if you need to go..then go! Don't ruin everyone elses time! Martinis at dinner were fantastic!!! ez E lost her mind about some change and then had anal sex with the buss boy! haha kidding! I did have a MOM moment at dinner showing off pictures of our kids with the waiter.
ez E left! K-Slice and I finished getting ready and left. I may or may not have smoked more pot before we went to the club! I was wasted! or I wasn't! On our elevator ride to the club I laughed so hard I peed my dress! Looking back now...I should be much more humiliated than I was. K-Slice just laughed and looked slightly horrified! We immediately went to the restroom. I'm an idiot! There was a Lowe's convention in town! O MY middle aged, over weight blue collar people everywhere. It was quite a different scene from Saturday night! We went back to the room...bc remember I peed my dress! I took care of things and we went back out!
We stumbled on a request band! This band was so good. We sat down at a table and began drinking. I was so trashed I remember writing down smart ass comments to the band and putting it in their request jar. The band had fun with it and even at least attempted to play all my songs! We were having a great time! THEN......we got a text from ez E it said "where are you guys? I'm coming back. It just didn't feel right." I was like WTF!? K-Slice is much nicer than I and text her back where we were. I refused to text her back.
It suddenly hit me at this moment that she was certifiable. Not like the kind of crazy we all think we are, but really aren't. I mean she was a wack job! Any who...she showed up and began the explaining and crying game again. I was so over it at this point. I literally had to sit side ways in the chair with my back to he. This was my meager effort to not give her a detailed description of her insanity! I wouldn't even listen! When she kept going on and on... I would just change the subject as if she wasn't even saying sad things trying to ruin out night. She finally asked me if I was alright? I was like "Yes, you need to drink!"
One martini later and she was a wild woman. She ran out on the dance floor and ripped off her hoodie...no bra under her cami btw! She started doing some sort of Elain Bennis funky chicken sex gyrate! Even the band was like...WTF just happened! They almost stopped playing. Her granny panties were hanging out the back...it was definitely a sight! K-Slice, who was battling acid reflux, was like "I don't need to drink if ez E keeps this up." We all danced pretty much until 3am. It was fun...BUT
I still had this strange feeling that I hadn't done what I had set out to do! That being said...It hit me the other day that my Hub and I had a much more rambunctious adolescence and early adult hood than most. I am a significantly calmer person now....as is my Hub! I don't think I will have many nights like I used to. I blush now just thinking about some of the escapdes I was involved in!
The last thing ez E said to me before she fell asleep that night was "we have to do this again soon"! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! I was like...Umm Fuck NO!
We woke up went to brunch and made our way to the airport. I was like oh shoot...I have to ditch the drugs..lol! I thought about setting it in ashtray for a stranger to find...(which is what I told K-Slice I did)! Sorry K!!! I didn't want you to worry! What I actually did was give it to the cabbie...as a tip! haha Great tip bc ez E had already given him $! The best part was he didn't even act like it was weird! He just stashed it in his pocket and grabbed our luggage!
The flight back was delightful! I met a nice older gentleman named Larry! His wife passed last year and he wanted to tell me all about her and his kids...and his fatty daughter in law! He was funny! He even told me his brother died of an over dose...I was like "Oh My Larry I didn't know old people did drugs!" He says..."me either!" too funny!
The connecting flight was late and we were so exhausted. We finally got to Pittsburgh...These ladies jumped up and tried to push past us. I was so irritated! Why do people do that on planes. If we all exit our rows then we will all eventually get out faster than trying to push past each other! I stood up and blocked the 2nd lady...the Mom to the daughter that had just pushed past us. I even held my ground so K-Slice could get out. OMG this lady was furious. Us girls walked to the tram where we were greeted with two ladies. The one walked right up to me and stood there. I turned and said "hello" very delighted! She then announced to everyone that I had stomped her toe and I was so rude and I needed to apologize right then and there. I said nothing...I could already tell these ladies were looking for a fight. I had guessed they had some deep seeded Rosa Parks issues and were demanding an apology from the white girls who wanted to get off the plane first. You know the type...a minority who is confrontational and already has it set in there mind you did what you did because of what they look like..instead of the actual reason...They were ass holes and needed to wait their turn. The yelling on their part didn't stop and I didn't start. I simply said something along the lines of you should have waited your turn. I was actually kind of embarrassed, which rarely happens to me! They literally called us trailer trash and threatened to kick our asses! LOL K-Slice looks at them and says "are you going to apologize?" I think she was getting scared. I was not scared...but then again I assume everyone is like me. I have been in a fight before. I was not afraid of some old lady and her 20something daughter! I finally turned to K-Slice and said what ended the fight...weirdly. I said "well K at least after all of this we still get to be white"! I know I know! I'm a fucking CUNT! I just can't help it. I didn't mean it. I have this strange ability to hone in on exactly someones insecurities or the very thing that would cut them to silence...and then say that even when I don't mean it! It worked kinda. They calmed down or said something along the lines of they can't be helped! lol K-Slice was horrified! She even gasped when I said it! An old lady gave me a dirty look! Oh well I'm over it. (I'm not racist...just saying)
I finally made it to the car! I got to see my baby and my Hub and all was forgotten! I was HOME! UGH!! I decided right then that it will be a long time before I go on a trip with out the Hub! I just have so much fun with him. If he had been with me the whole time it would have been less Medium...I missed him too much.
We left the pool and walked the strip with our new friends. We walked for a a few hours. It was great! We saw all the cool sites and saw the Bellagio lights show! The fun guys had pot I may or may not have had some! (seriously don't do drugs) Cool lights! OMG I am a mother! Oh, right my beautiful baby is at home with her awesome daddy, and I am in Vegas...yes!
ez E texts us that she wants to have dinner with us and then she is going! I was capital I IRRITATED! I am not an insensitive prick, but if you need to go..then go! Don't ruin everyone elses time! Martinis at dinner were fantastic!!! ez E lost her mind about some change and then had anal sex with the buss boy! haha kidding! I did have a MOM moment at dinner showing off pictures of our kids with the waiter.
ez E left! K-Slice and I finished getting ready and left. I may or may not have smoked more pot before we went to the club! I was wasted! or I wasn't! On our elevator ride to the club I laughed so hard I peed my dress! Looking back now...I should be much more humiliated than I was. K-Slice just laughed and looked slightly horrified! We immediately went to the restroom. I'm an idiot! There was a Lowe's convention in town! O MY middle aged, over weight blue collar people everywhere. It was quite a different scene from Saturday night! We went back to the room...bc remember I peed my dress! I took care of things and we went back out!
We stumbled on a request band! This band was so good. We sat down at a table and began drinking. I was so trashed I remember writing down smart ass comments to the band and putting it in their request jar. The band had fun with it and even at least attempted to play all my songs! We were having a great time! THEN......we got a text from ez E it said "where are you guys? I'm coming back. It just didn't feel right." I was like WTF!? K-Slice is much nicer than I and text her back where we were. I refused to text her back.
It suddenly hit me at this moment that she was certifiable. Not like the kind of crazy we all think we are, but really aren't. I mean she was a wack job! Any who...she showed up and began the explaining and crying game again. I was so over it at this point. I literally had to sit side ways in the chair with my back to he. This was my meager effort to not give her a detailed description of her insanity! I wouldn't even listen! When she kept going on and on... I would just change the subject as if she wasn't even saying sad things trying to ruin out night. She finally asked me if I was alright? I was like "Yes, you need to drink!"
One martini later and she was a wild woman. She ran out on the dance floor and ripped off her hoodie...no bra under her cami btw! She started doing some sort of Elain Bennis funky chicken sex gyrate! Even the band was like...WTF just happened! They almost stopped playing. Her granny panties were hanging out the back...it was definitely a sight! K-Slice, who was battling acid reflux, was like "I don't need to drink if ez E keeps this up." We all danced pretty much until 3am. It was fun...BUT
I still had this strange feeling that I hadn't done what I had set out to do! That being said...It hit me the other day that my Hub and I had a much more rambunctious adolescence and early adult hood than most. I am a significantly calmer person now....as is my Hub! I don't think I will have many nights like I used to. I blush now just thinking about some of the escapdes I was involved in!
The last thing ez E said to me before she fell asleep that night was "we have to do this again soon"! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! I was like...Umm Fuck NO!
We woke up went to brunch and made our way to the airport. I was like oh shoot...I have to ditch the drugs..lol! I thought about setting it in ashtray for a stranger to find...(which is what I told K-Slice I did)! Sorry K!!! I didn't want you to worry! What I actually did was give it to the cabbie...as a tip! haha Great tip bc ez E had already given him $! The best part was he didn't even act like it was weird! He just stashed it in his pocket and grabbed our luggage!
The flight back was delightful! I met a nice older gentleman named Larry! His wife passed last year and he wanted to tell me all about her and his kids...and his fatty daughter in law! He was funny! He even told me his brother died of an over dose...I was like "Oh My Larry I didn't know old people did drugs!" He says..."me either!" too funny!
The connecting flight was late and we were so exhausted. We finally got to Pittsburgh...These ladies jumped up and tried to push past us. I was so irritated! Why do people do that on planes. If we all exit our rows then we will all eventually get out faster than trying to push past each other! I stood up and blocked the 2nd lady...the Mom to the daughter that had just pushed past us. I even held my ground so K-Slice could get out. OMG this lady was furious. Us girls walked to the tram where we were greeted with two ladies. The one walked right up to me and stood there. I turned and said "hello" very delighted! She then announced to everyone that I had stomped her toe and I was so rude and I needed to apologize right then and there. I said nothing...I could already tell these ladies were looking for a fight. I had guessed they had some deep seeded Rosa Parks issues and were demanding an apology from the white girls who wanted to get off the plane first. You know the type...a minority who is confrontational and already has it set in there mind you did what you did because of what they look like..instead of the actual reason...They were ass holes and needed to wait their turn. The yelling on their part didn't stop and I didn't start. I simply said something along the lines of you should have waited your turn. I was actually kind of embarrassed, which rarely happens to me! They literally called us trailer trash and threatened to kick our asses! LOL K-Slice looks at them and says "are you going to apologize?" I think she was getting scared. I was not scared...but then again I assume everyone is like me. I have been in a fight before. I was not afraid of some old lady and her 20something daughter! I finally turned to K-Slice and said what ended the fight...weirdly. I said "well K at least after all of this we still get to be white"! I know I know! I'm a fucking CUNT! I just can't help it. I didn't mean it. I have this strange ability to hone in on exactly someones insecurities or the very thing that would cut them to silence...and then say that even when I don't mean it! It worked kinda. They calmed down or said something along the lines of they can't be helped! lol K-Slice was horrified! She even gasped when I said it! An old lady gave me a dirty look! Oh well I'm over it. (I'm not racist...just saying)
I finally made it to the car! I got to see my baby and my Hub and all was forgotten! I was HOME! UGH!! I decided right then that it will be a long time before I go on a trip with out the Hub! I just have so much fun with him. If he had been with me the whole time it would have been less Medium...I missed him too much.
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