K-Slice and I decide to go back to the pool, but less purple drank! We see fun guys from day before, and one is in the hot tub with a lady friend. K-Slice and I talk to her...Ashley, who ends up being really cool. (even though she was Canadian and a Pharmacist) I usually dislike both of those genres of people...maybe the combo is what made it ok! Who knows! We did drink some! I liked it..K-Slice was still meh from the drinking yesterday!
We left the pool and walked the strip with our new friends. We walked for a a few hours. It was great! We saw all the cool sites and saw the Bellagio lights show! The fun guys had pot I may or may not have had some! (seriously don't do drugs) Cool lights! OMG I am a mother! Oh, right my beautiful baby is at home with her awesome daddy, and I am in Vegas...yes!
ez E texts us that she wants to have dinner with us and then she is going! I was capital I IRRITATED! I am not an insensitive prick, but if you need to go..then go! Don't ruin everyone elses time! Martinis at dinner were fantastic!!! ez E lost her mind about some change and then had anal sex with the buss boy! haha kidding! I did have a MOM moment at dinner showing off pictures of our kids with the waiter.
ez E left! K-Slice and I finished getting ready and left. I may or may not have smoked more pot before we went to the club! I was wasted! or I wasn't! On our elevator ride to the club I laughed so hard I peed my dress! Looking back now...I should be much more humiliated than I was. K-Slice just laughed and looked slightly horrified! We immediately went to the restroom. I'm an idiot! There was a Lowe's convention in town! O MY middle aged, over weight blue collar people everywhere. It was quite a different scene from Saturday night! We went back to the room...bc remember I peed my dress! I took care of things and we went back out!
We stumbled on a request band! This band was so good. We sat down at a table and began drinking. I was so trashed I remember writing down smart ass comments to the band and putting it in their request jar. The band had fun with it and even at least attempted to play all my songs! We were having a great time! THEN......we got a text from ez E it said "where are you guys? I'm coming back. It just didn't feel right." I was like WTF!? K-Slice is much nicer than I and text her back where we were. I refused to text her back.
It suddenly hit me at this moment that she was certifiable. Not like the kind of crazy we all think we are, but really aren't. I mean she was a wack job! Any who...she showed up and began the explaining and crying game again. I was so over it at this point. I literally had to sit side ways in the chair with my back to he. This was my meager effort to not give her a detailed description of her insanity! I wouldn't even listen! When she kept going on and on... I would just change the subject as if she wasn't even saying sad things trying to ruin out night. She finally asked me if I was alright? I was like "Yes, you need to drink!"
One martini later and she was a wild woman. She ran out on the dance floor and ripped off her hoodie...no bra under her cami btw! She started doing some sort of Elain Bennis funky chicken sex gyrate! Even the band was like...WTF just happened! They almost stopped playing. Her granny panties were hanging out the back...it was definitely a sight! K-Slice, who was battling acid reflux, was like "I don't need to drink if ez E keeps this up." We all danced pretty much until 3am. It was fun...BUT
I still had this strange feeling that I hadn't done what I had set out to do! That being said...It hit me the other day that my Hub and I had a much more rambunctious adolescence and early adult hood than most. I am a significantly calmer person now....as is my Hub! I don't think I will have many nights like I used to. I blush now just thinking about some of the escapdes I was involved in!
The last thing ez E said to me before she fell asleep that night was "we have to do this again soon"! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! I was like...Umm Fuck NO!
We woke up went to brunch and made our way to the airport. I was like oh shoot...I have to ditch the drugs..lol! I thought about setting it in ashtray for a stranger to find...(which is what I told K-Slice I did)! Sorry K!!! I didn't want you to worry! What I actually did was give it to the cabbie...as a tip! haha Great tip bc ez E had already given him $! The best part was he didn't even act like it was weird! He just stashed it in his pocket and grabbed our luggage!
The flight back was delightful! I met a nice older gentleman named Larry! His wife passed last year and he wanted to tell me all about her and his kids...and his fatty daughter in law! He was funny! He even told me his brother died of an over dose...I was like "Oh My Larry I didn't know old people did drugs!" He says..."me either!" too funny!
The connecting flight was late and we were so exhausted. We finally got to Pittsburgh...These ladies jumped up and tried to push past us. I was so irritated! Why do people do that on planes. If we all exit our rows then we will all eventually get out faster than trying to push past each other! I stood up and blocked the 2nd lady...the Mom to the daughter that had just pushed past us. I even held my ground so K-Slice could get out. OMG this lady was furious. Us girls walked to the tram where we were greeted with two ladies. The one walked right up to me and stood there. I turned and said "hello" very delighted! She then announced to everyone that I had stomped her toe and I was so rude and I needed to apologize right then and there. I said nothing...I could already tell these ladies were looking for a fight. I had guessed they had some deep seeded Rosa Parks issues and were demanding an apology from the white girls who wanted to get off the plane first. You know the type...a minority who is confrontational and already has it set in there mind you did what you did because of what they look like..instead of the actual reason...They were ass holes and needed to wait their turn. The yelling on their part didn't stop and I didn't start. I simply said something along the lines of you should have waited your turn. I was actually kind of embarrassed, which rarely happens to me! They literally called us trailer trash and threatened to kick our asses! LOL K-Slice looks at them and says "are you going to apologize?" I think she was getting scared. I was not scared...but then again I assume everyone is like me. I have been in a fight before. I was not afraid of some old lady and her 20something daughter! I finally turned to K-Slice and said what ended the fight...weirdly. I said "well K at least after all of this we still get to be white"! I know I know! I'm a fucking CUNT! I just can't help it. I didn't mean it. I have this strange ability to hone in on exactly someones insecurities or the very thing that would cut them to silence...and then say that even when I don't mean it! It worked kinda. They calmed down or said something along the lines of they can't be helped! lol K-Slice was horrified! She even gasped when I said it! An old lady gave me a dirty look! Oh well I'm over it. (I'm not racist...just saying)
I finally made it to the car! I got to see my baby and my Hub and all was forgotten! I was HOME! UGH!! I decided right then that it will be a long time before I go on a trip with out the Hub! I just have so much fun with him. If he had been with me the whole time it would have been less Medium...I missed him too much.
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