I have to post more often!!! I blog in my head so often...must type thoughts!!!
SO I went to Vegas with my awesome friend K-Slice and some strange girl she works with...I call her ez E. Any who. I was so nervous and excited about this trip before I left I could hardly contain myself. I was full of OMG I am going to be the boring "mom" and no one will have fun! I was extremely nervous about being the only married person going also!
Trip began on the first flight. K-Slice and I got to sit by each other and we decided that was a good as time as any to begin drinking! We also sat next to the freaking cutest 21 year old boy on his way to study abroad...New Zealand maybe. Anyway, 5 hour flight turned into drinking laughing and convincing this boy to be young free, and not be tied down while enjoying a once in a lifetime trip in New Zealand! He had a girlfriend back home...dumb ass! Oh, and the best part he thought K-Slice and I were on spring break! OMG! I thanked him! hahahaha
We got into Vegas around 1am...4am EST! We were exhausted! We checked in and went to bed...woke up way too early! Well, it was early, but I was ready to get my party on! We went to brunch where the drinking began! All you drink mimosas and bloody mary's....this is where it got weird!
So, you know me I started poking and prodding at the new girl. I got her to talk and I was not prepared...not at all! ez E decided to enlighten me to her sexual status...Virgin! Then proceeded to inform us about all the anal sex she has had. Which ,I am sorry holier than though lady, makes you not a VIRGIN!!! I was kinda taken back... I haven't even done that! Not that I judge! I say do your thing, but don't do it to try and hold on to some kind of intimacy that you have fabricated by some holy roller christian upbringing! ughghghg!
We ...by we I mean ez E decided we should walk the strip. I agreed as did K-Slice. I know I can be a persuasive over bearing personality and just chose to back off for the trip. I know!! It was weird for me too! The strip walk lasted all of an hour...maybe! It was beautiful outside, sunny and 77 degrees. K-Slice suddenly reminds us that she saw signs for a beach at our resort. I was SOLD! We went back to the resort...by we I mean K-Slice and I. ez E decided to gamble! BORING! Jebus lady! Drinks in the hot tub...Sun! ugh again!
K-Slice and I made friends with two different sets of people. The first was an african american couple the man was wasted and the girl was umm waterever. She was kinda boring and didn't say much. She laughed a lot at Marcus <--the guy and he was funny. He kept pointing out all of the degenerates and weirdos! He was even making fun of black people! I was like omg I am not allowed to do that...uncomfortable! He thought that was even funnier! We then met these guys from Connecticut...maybe. They were my favorites! They were normal and really funny...didn't immediately quit talking to me once they found out I was married, but didn't hit on me either! We drank with them most of the day. OMG Purple drank! K-Slice decided to have to bartender make a crazy concoction of booze and we named it...Purple Drank! Jebus we were drunk! I will have to say this portion of the trip was by far my favorite!
We went upstairs to change and become beautified for show/dinner/club. K-Slice and I were trashed! I swam...literally back stroked in the tub while she showered. Insert the freak!!! ez Z decided to get my phone and K-Slices phone and take pictures of us for our men! (she tried to tell us we asked for said service...So didn't) I wasn't black out drunk! She was successful in sending the naked picture to my Hub. Less successful at sending K-Slices, thank God, to her BRAND NEW BOY! Ya, who does that ez E! Not everyone is comfortable with anal after the first date! My Hub texts me like 3 hours later and says nice ass..."are you drunk?" I said "nope I always swim in hotel bath tubs and let strangers take pictures of me." His reply..."I know!" LOL
We make it to the show after a forced vomiting spell by K-slice and me frantically trying to reach my Hub. No luck on my end. The show was medium. I liked all the woopety woo stuff like nudey twirling and growling and water aerobics. (Thank God I am not a Cirque critic.) It was cool...I would like to see another one. Maybe stoned or something next time! (No I am not an avid drug user) Oh, and Hub finally called me back. He is so shitty at having a phone! He was like...what? are you having fun? I was like umm you have my baby and I haven't been away from her like this before. Hub-oh ok sorry love you don't ger roofied. Me-love you too. I was honestly waiting for him to spaz out a little and be jealous...nope didn't happen! BORING!!
We then head to dinner. I was slightly or very annoyed at this. It was 10pm and yes I was hungry, but more cheeseburger and begin drinking again hungry! My group had decided and I agreed to go to an expensive restaurant by some famous chef. Sort version...I was crabby...food wasn't fantastic....and it cost $120...just my meal! I was furious, but hey like some strange guy said What do you expect...its Vegas!
K-Slice manned up and went out with me. I wanted to meet up with our earlier friends. K-Slice was less inclined to do so. Prob smart...they were fun, but definitely don't want to give anyone the wrong impression. I have a chronic problem with not thinking about those sorts of things. I was like...hmmm they were fun earlier and I would like to have fun now...insert fun people! OMG I am like some sort of King demanding my jester! Lord, I need to think of other peoples perspective sometimes. K-Slice and I went to an outside bar with a really cool DJ. He was so animated. I could barely dance because he was putting on such a good show! We then walked further down the strip to some club I had heard people talking about earlier. We gave up and went back...so tired!
I woke up the next morning feeling like a fucking failure and bound and determined to live the next 24 hours up! Then I hear sobbing! OMG are you fucking kidding me! Yes, that was my insensitive initial thought! ez E was crying... Evidently her pastor's wife went from being stage 4 to terminal over night and her mom decided to call her up and let her know! ez E proceeded to panic pace about the room cry and call like 5 people and let them know all about it. K-Slice and I got...coffee! By the time we got back she had decided she was going home and then called her work peeps to tell them terrible sad story. Weirdest thing ever by the way was she called person who I am assuming is her real boss and was all professional and sobby. Then, called some other important person and was like ya shes back in the hospital it sucks I'm going home, call you later! So, weird!!!
We go eat ez E is teary and sad the whole time. K-Slice and I were like WTF?!?!?! Just go home if you need to be home!
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